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When Lemo had retired from the Frieza Force - okay, fine, it was less a retirement and more desertion - he’d hoped that his days of getting mixed up in things way above his pay grade were over and done with. It wasn’t like he was bad at his job or anything, but in a universe full of planet-destroying superbeings, working for an intergalactic conqueror was an even more hazardous profession than most would expect. He couldn’t even count how many times he’d nearly died after pointing his gun at some random schmoe, only to learn they were secretly a martial-arts master who could rip out his throat with a drinking straw or something like that.
That was one of the reasons he’d stuck around on Vampa as long as he had. If the planet was so remote and inhospitable that not even Frieza wanted anything to do with it, it wasn’t like any other spacefaring mega-badasses would randomly decide to stop by and start trouble, right?
Unfortunately, if the heavily-armored alien who had just chokeslammed him through a rock pillar was any indication, the universe didn’t care all that much about his plans for a peaceful retirement.
“I have no patience for your games, insect,” the alien boomed, tightening his grip on Lemo’s neck. “Either provide me with the information I require, or perish.”
Part of Lemo wanted to point out that he hadn’t actually been asked any questions yet - in fact, the chokeslam had been the first and only interaction he’d had with the alien so far. But if there was one thing Lemo had learned in the Frieza Force, it was how to appease an egotistical overlord who was two seconds away from blowing you up for your insolence. And between the glowing red eyes and impractically spiky black armor, everything about this guy screamed “egotistical overlord”.
“I-I’m s-sorry… I’ll t-tell you w-whatever you w-want…” Lemo stammered fearfully, making sure to play up his gasps for air and futile efforts to pry the alien’s hand away from his neck. The closer they thought you were to choking before you could be of use to them, the sooner they’d let you breathe.
Sure enough, the alien released Lemo’s neck, letting his battered body drop to the ground.
“Good. Now, answer me: where is the Saiyan woman?”
“...I’m sorry, I must have gotten dirt in my ears. You’re looking for a wha-” Lemo’s surprised remark was interrupted when the alien’s boot crashed into his stomach, sending him careening across the landscape into another rock.
“Do not waste my time, insect!” the armored alien snarled. “I have heard tales of a powerful Saiyan survivor hidden away on this repugnant rock you call a planet. A voluptuous white-haired morsel of a woman, as strong-willed as she is beautiful.”
For a long while, Lemo was silent - not out of shock this time, but out of a desperate struggle to keep a straight face. Strictly speaking, he wasn’t wrong. There was indeed a Saiyan survivor in hiding on Vampa, as well as a beautiful white-haired woman...
“F-forgive me for asking, but if you find this woman, what were you planning to do with her?”
Lemo could feel the alien’s depraved smirk even through the thick armor covering his face. “Isn’t it obvious? I’ll defeat her, collar her, and make her my slave. Once I’ve broken her in, she’ll make quite a useful tool for my conquest of the galaxy - and a delectable plaything to service my more… personal desires.”
For the first time in years, Lemo had a flashback to one of his near-death encounters in the Frieza Force. Only this time, he wasn’t the one diving for cover seconds before the bloodbath began. He was the shrivelled-up old man at the bar, laughing uproariously at the dozens of laser sights trained on him before calmly turning to the bartender and asking for another straw for his drink.
“You know what, boss? I think I can help you out with that,” Lemo said, smiling broadly despite his injuries. “You want the girl? I’ll lead you right to her house.”
“That’s more like it,” the alien chuckled darkly, lifting Lemo up by his neck once more. “Perhaps once my conquest begins, you may be of use as one of my soldiers.”
Suddenly, he raised his other hand and held it in front of Lemo’s chest, letting it glow with crackling red ki. “But know this: if you intend to betray me, your suffering will be unspeakable. You will take me directly to where this Saiyan makes her home, or I won’t hesitate to boil you alive from the inside out.”
“D-don’t worry, boss, I’m a man of my word!” Lemo declared. “In fact, if we start heading there right now, I can guarantee you’ll catch the Saiyan by surprise!”
“Excellent! Show me the way at once!”
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With Lemo’s directions, it didn’t take all that long for the two of them to reach the house hidden in the cave. It wasn’t exactly a comfortable journey for Lemo, admittedly. The alien’s questionable interrogation strategies had left him too badly injured to walk, forcing his captor to carry him the whole way. Unfortunately, the only way he seemed to know how to carry someone involved holding them by the neck.
Lemo was starting to wonder if the guy had a choking fetish at this point. It would certainly fit with his other fetishes - which Lemo knew all too much about by this point, as the alien had amused himself during the walk by going into explicit detail about exactly how he planned to defile the female Saiyan until she submitted to him.
“All right, here it is,” Lemo grunted. “I gotta ask, though, are you sure you want to do this? I hear Saiyans can be crazy powe-URK!”
“Just who do you think you’re talking to, insect?” the alien demanded furiously, his clawed hand tightening around Lemo’s throat once more. “No mere monkey could ever hope to hold a candle to my might! Watch and learn, that you might spread tales of my incomparable power!”
With that, he raised his other hand and released a powerful ki blast, reducing the front wall of the house to nothing more than a cloud of rubble and debris.
“Behold, Saiyan! Your destined master has come to claim you. Perhaps if you drop to your knees and worship me now, I will be merciful on you in-”
As the dust cleared, silence reigned throughout the cave. There was no sound from the alien, whose words had died on his lips once he got a good look at the two individuals inside the house. There was no sound from Lemo, who had mastered the art of chewing on the inside of his cheek to avoid laughing himself into an early grave. There was no sound from Broly, whose facial expression seemed to show a mixture of surprise, confusion, and mild irritation.
And there was definitely no sound from Cheelai. Partially because she was just as shocked as Broly, and partially because her gag did an excellent job of muffling her confused murmur of “what the hell?”.
From the looks of things, Cheelai was in roughly the same position she’d been in when Lemo had left earlier that day to give them some privacy. She was lying on her back on the bed she shared with her Saiyan lover, as naked as the day she was born. Ropes were wound tightly around her wrists and ankles and secured to the bedposts, keeping her body stretched out in a spreadeagle position that left every inch of her light green skin perfectly exposed. Her mouth was silenced with a white rubber ball gag that matched her hair, and a black cloth had been tied over her eyes, blindfolding her.
Broly was also in roughly the same position Lemo had expected: on top of Cheelai, with his cock half-buried in her pussy and his muscular hands gently squeezing her tender breasts. Slowly, the Legendary Super Saiyan’s gaze traveled from his bound lover to the alien who had just interrupted a record-breaking kinky sex marathon with his girlfriend, and then to Lemo’s bruised, battered body, still hanging weakly by his neck from the alien’s outstretched arm.
“Need a moment. Be right back,” Broly sighed, reluctantly pulling out of Cheelai (to her audible dismay) and standing up to face the newcomer.
“S-so, it seems I was slightly misinformed about what I would find here,” the alien said, trying to regain his earlier composure. “Still, it matters not! I am the strongest warrior in the universe, the destined ruler of all that lives! Surrender to me now, Saiyan, and perhaps I’ll grant you the pleasure of watching as I make that woman of yours submit to meAAAAAAIIIEEEE!”
And then the alien disappeared.
For a moment, Lemo thought Broly had punched the alien hard enough to instantly atomize his body. Then he noticed Broly was no longer in the cave either and heard the sound of screaming and unspeakable violence from outside, and he realized the Saiyan hadn’t done anything quite so ridiculous. No, he’d simply grabbed him, cleanly severed the hand around Lemo’s neck, and carried him out of the cave to beat the absolute shit out of him, all in the time it took Lemo to blink.
Deciding that he didn’t have the stomach to watch whatever Broly was doing to the poor bastard out there, Lemo stood up, pried the bloodstained hand off his neck, limped over to where a very confused Cheelai was laying, and tugged the ball gag out of her mouth.
“Lemo, is that you? What the hell is going on out there?”
“Oh, some would-be evil overlord heard a rumor about us and thought having a Saiyan sex slave would give him some badass cred. Apparently Broly wasn’t a fan of his plan.”
“AAAGH! THAT ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BEND THAT WAY!”
“...That poor, stupid bastard,” Cheelai muttered. “Still, did you really have to lead him here? I told you Broly and I were going to be… uh… busy all day today.”
“Believe me, if I could’ve taken care of him on my own, I would’ve,” Lemo grumbled. “Do you think I wanted to spend what could’ve been the last moment of my life staring at Broly’s dick while some asshole was choking me out?”
Although the screaming and explosions just outside continued unabated, silence seemed to reign within the cave once more.
“...Wait, that came out wro-”
“Pfffftt… HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAA! Man, and I thought I was the kinky one around here! Look at you, getting all adventurous wiMMFF!”
Unfortunately, pushing the gag back into Cheelai’s mouth didn’t do all that much to stifle the volume of her laughter. Suddenly, Lemo couldn’t help wondering if he’d made a mistake by not just letting the alien kill him. She was never going to let him live this one down...
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